joe bishop

I spent about a year trying to convince VICE to let me spend an entire working day in the toilet.

eva wiseman

Many years ago, when I was an intern at The Face, I was really excited to be invited in to meet the then features editor of Vogue. I sat beside her desk while she continued working, and awkwardly reeled off some ideas. I don’t think she made eye contact once, but the worst bit was the email I received from her when I got home, which simply said, ‘NO THANK’.

mark blacklock

Couldn’t interest anyone in my spoof restaurant column by an imagined psychotic sushi chef.

helen barrett

A comment piece on the joy of ashtrays.

kyle macneill

Ranking All 21 Named Megabus Coaches by Banter.

mark o’connell

I pitched a piece about underground storage facilities to Esquire, and from the email it’s clear I found it fascinating but I can’t fathom why now.

lauren gilmour

Ahead of Holocaust Memorial Day, a PR asked if I was interested in any ‘inspiring and feel-good Holocaust stories’. Can’t say I’ve ever felt good when reading about the Holocaust, it must be said.

kieran morris

Pitched, organised and very nearly ventured out to the Belgrade Derby, where the plan was to just ‘sit with the Partizan ultras and see what happens.’ Snow cancelled the trip at the last minute, and both my editor and my mum were then able to say what a stupid idea they thought it was.

ian martin