Dear Readers,
Good Afternoon and welcome back to Off The Fence, a newsletter that never makes mistakes. Never.
It’s been another wonderful week of photography for us here, with some of the competitions strongest entrances yet sacheting powerfully down the runway. We had exceptional destination shots from both the Peruvian salt flats and the misterious (see what we did there) Loch Hourn and some truly wonderful praise from Alexandra Shulman who, having been top dog at Vogue for 25 years, knows a thing or two about magazines. But this was not all. We enjoyed seeing the magazine accompanying a deeply continental train journey as well as a contrasting two-footed Brexit tackle of a train ride. And the mag was also smartly lined up alongside some beautiful autumnal leaves and one of Soho’s better-named drinking establishments.
Really it’s enough to make one rush to buy a magazine just as a fashion statement, let alone the fact that it is full of electric writing and serves as the UK’s only guide to whether a given hue is exactly the same as TF orange.
Thank you also to Paul Lay, who wrote to us to say, ‘ I look forward to receiving The Fence in the same way I looked forward to picking up the NME on a Thursday morning in the late 1970s.’
This is possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said about us, and makes us very happy indeed, practically dazed with joy… another thing that has made us dizzy is this wonderful podcast episode about the magazine on ‘Learning British’. It’s good!
Otherwise, things remain calm and collected in our towers as we begin to steer yet another – that’s right another – delicious magazine through the process. That one will be the big three oh gentlefolk, so you probably should make sure you’re all subbed up in time for it to thwap down on your doormat pronto.
We did however manage to leer out from our particular rock this past week and come to a few hazy thoughts to present to you here. We recommend some strange binge-watching and are peeping at British espionage history through two holes in our morning paper. First, a more serious point of observation.
More Oxbridge Rumblings
It has been interesting to watch the cautious entrance into the mediascape of the news that one Dr Lola Salem, a music professor at Oriel College Oxford, has been charged with possession of indecent images of children. It is hard not to compare it to the recent coverage that surrounded Jason Arday which was much more prolific despite a much less serious charge. In some respects, it could be seen as a belated learning of lessons. And yet there is something a little too rosy about a conclusion along those lines.
It is, of course, too early to say what all this means and the trial will need to take its course. But it is perhaps interesting that both GB News and LBC wrote and then pulled articles from their websites. From what we hear there are genuinely good reasons for the minimal coverage so far.
Bruton’s Boadicea
Issue 29 saw the legendary Kate Spicer make her authorial TF debut after appearing in Issue 26’s massive feature on the history of print. This time, she is weighing up the difficulties of having a frank conversation, preferably without getting so furious at the idiot across from you that you storm out of the room. Is it time for some breathing exercises or a £2,500 brain surgery? She’s working on it.
Leo’s Folklore
Do you care about Encore? Do you agree it is terrible? Do you even know what is? For those not in the know, its an addendum of four tracks, tacked onto the last album of major global power Taylor Swift. Some of its songs, especially Patient Zero have come in for some less than kind, but incredibly funny internet discourse.
There is, however, one man whose opinion on this matter is of the highest value. That man is Leo Robson. The eminent literary and cultural critic was at one point an incongruous member of Swift nation, Era’s tour and all. The Literary Review editor speaks out for the first time in Issue 29, and his excellent piece is now online.
The Vivid Promise of Albion
People have been saying that the British pub is dying for over 50 years, which is both mad and untrue, but what is definitely the case is that old-fashioned drinking pubs – modern-day alehouses – are harder to find these days, especially in the countryside. Or are they? The editor posed the question to Twitter on Sunday evening and received a deluge of replies. We’re particularly interested by The Old King’s Head in Worle – what a big boozer – and also The Red Lion in Romney Marsh.
Independents Only
It’s a tough environment to run any small business in this county, let alone a shop selling magazines and vinyls, so we’d like to give a big shout out to a new stockist in Brighton, Directory Records, which really looks magnificent – give them your custom if you’re in the Sussex area.
A reminder that print subscribers receive the magazine before they land in the shops, so if you like reading but are less keen on walking, do sign up at the link below.
Dine and Dash
Tonight sees the London premiere of Succubus, a one-woman horror comedy putting men on the menu. After a host of five-star reviews in Edinburgh, the curtain is rising at the Courtyard Theatre in Hoxton. It’s the debut work from Georgina Collins, who is one of the most exciting talents in British theatre. There are a few tickets available here.
Brentwoodfellas
Since its inception, this newsletter has been tracking stories concerning David Hunt, the legendary Canning Town gangster who sued Rupert Murdoch’s Sunday Times for reporting on his activities (and lost the libel case). It was said that he was so powerful that he was ‘untouchable’ – but now he’s been arrested after a four-year investigation, alongside his henchman Calvin ‘The Dread’ Robinson.
Many journalists are wary of reporting on David Hunt, and with good reason. Which is why we put him in our list of the 12 hardest people in the capital – ‘The Werewolves of London’ – alongside Julia Hobbs, Rachel Johnson and Caroline Michel. We stand by every word.
Unhinged Winter Watches
The summer has put up an aggressive fight this year, so it is only now, in almost mid October, that the British weather is starting to have a genuine chill to it. This is the time the nation turns, somewhat aggressively, to its streaming services. But increasingly there feels like there is a lethargy to the streaming world – where’s the gusto? How many more times can we watch Realistic Workplace Show (the writer used to work in the industry) or indeed Goofy Workplace Comedy? Intense Long-Take Drama, anyone?
So as we prepare for those nights to draw in, some friendly advice – watch something weird. Stop one would be something like Twin Peaks – hardly niche, but an undeniable banger both funny and eerie, that will make a 5pm sunset feel a little more atmospheric as opposed to depressing. Or we could remind you of an old ‘And Finally’ recommendation of the 80s version of Sherlock Holmes full of the quirks, anachronisms and problematic tendencies of the era. Watch a couple of episodes and then skip to one of the longer specials like ‘The Last Vampyre’ where things get janky.
Or, if you really want to get stuck into some madness, try Three Kingdoms. At first glance, this 95-episode long beast appears as just a Chinese version of the well-worn ‘we promise this vaguely happened in history/dragon, death and tits’ category. Fortunately, it is consistently mad enough to avoid such dullness. We offer a clip below which is nothing like your standard moody face-off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uq3pEkZT3c
From Bedfordshire with Love
Last week, a 24-year-old Royal Navy officer from Bedfordshire was accused of drafting a message in Russian containing classified information while preparing to make contact with an unnamed foreign power. The case is still ongoing, but may take its place in a longer history of espionage in Britain’s armed forces. One of the most astonishing examples was Geoffrey Prime. Prime was a former member of the Royal Air Force who later worked at GCHQ. But between 1968 and 1981, he was also a spy for the Soviet Union.
His route to double agency was circuitous. A combination of a skill in languages and colour blindness meant that shortly after joining the RAF he was dispatched to Scotland to learn Russian. But after he failed an advanced course, he was posted to Kenya, where he later said he became disillusioned with the brutal results of Britain’s colonial rule. He started listening to pro-Communist radio, and learning about the USSR and, well, the rest is self-evident.
In 1968, passing through Berlin on a moving train, he threw a cylinder over a checkpoint, secreting a message to the border guards that he wanted to work for the Soviet Union. The KGB convinced him to apply to work at GCHQ in 1976, where he transmitted classified information thanks to his role as a high-ranking transcriber. Among other methods, he used Coke cans to traffic documents – 500 in total. His most damaging leak came in 1982, where he was paid £4,000 for the information that the US was successfully intercepting Soviet messages, even between their submarines.
After he resigned from GCHQ he became a wine seller and taxi driver in Cheltenham. A noble way to live.
In Case You Missed It
The only reliable weather source these days.
A truly electric new Instagram madman for you all: Roy Space.
Please don’t click this link, we accidentally included it and it is pornography.
Jean-Luc Mélenchon gets cunty about Gé Dé Pé.
The Zuck struggles to enjoy an honest man’s drink.
A failsafe indication that someone is not serious about their life.
The schoolteachers who wear Issey Miyake.
Hull City’s Instagram admin continues to do excellent work.
Rare footage of the back alley deals plaguing our streets.
And Finally
In honour of Eva Marie Saint’s death last week, we went back into the archives to find some gem appearances. One of the most magnetising is a programme of What’s My Line? in which Eva is the mystery guest, the identity of whom the panelists have to identify based on questions of their choosing. The first is, ‘Are you a curvaceous cutie?’ to which Eva replies, ‘I certainly hope so.’
What’s My Line? was the most popular show in the States during its day. Its first presenter John Charles Daly was a broadcasting legend who broke the story of the bombing of Pearl Harbour, as well as the death of Franklin Roosevelt. In true American style, it was hosting What’s My Line? that elevated him to a true star.
The panel was no less illustrious. Its regular contributors included: Bennett Cerf, public intellectual and witticist who set up Random House; the journo legend Dorothy Kilgallen, who famously reported on the JFK assassination, as well as all showbiz gossip; and Tony Randall of Tony Randall fame. The game? The panelists had to guess what the guests did for a living.
Which takes us back to Eva Marie Saint. At the end of each episode, the host would bring on a mystery guest – someone famous enough to make the audience giggle and require the panelists to wear a blindfold. The secret person would be introduced with a shot of their anonymous hands writing their name in chalk on the board before creeping over the stage to sit next to the host. Eva does it outstandingly. She wiggles over to join John Charles Daly and together they sit behind the bank while Eva answers the panellists’ queries in a funny voice, batting back each and every remark. She’s particularly agile when the panelists start to figure out who she is, making worried faces at the audience, who clearly adore her. She is really very delightful, as she was in everything she did. A lovely thing to return to. Legends, all of them!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwcfsmR9SzM
Let’s do this quickly shall we?
Hope u liked! No mag? support@the-fence.com. Pitch? editorial@the-fence.com. See you week’s time. Buy magazine! World fastest talker – Sean Shannon, 655 WPM.
All the best,
TF